Wednesday, March 30
I never was willing to go to a monster truck rally.
I never cared about hot rods or hot wheels or a green chevelle.
I never made up silly songs and then repeated them over and over, especially about the potty!
I never drank from a glass after someone else took a sip.
I never ate my carrots and peas.
I never had the power to scare away monsters or fend off invisible bad guys...
Friday, March 25
Five minutes to just write, and not worry if it’s just right or not. Kind of like how the rest of my life is at the moment.
Waking up these days is not what I want to do. But my 5 year old is prompting me that he is hungry.
Waking up these days is painful, a realization that depression has taken it's toll on my health. Headaches and back pain... okay, I'm not trying to complain here.
Waking up these days is a chance to start over; a chance to make things into a better day for my son; a chance to have fun while he is on break from school.
Waking up is a challenge, one I never thought I would face, but one that is very real. Writing this, I plan to make this day into something better than yesterday; to clean my house and get it ready for a new couch and a new coat of paint.
Writing this helps me see that I can have a brighter today. Sharing this makes me want to show the world that I will not let depression win; that I will win this battle of my soul.
Watching Criminal Minds last night and one of the characters said that a bedroom is an outward reflection of the inner self, (something like that.) I look around my house and agree. The mess that doesn't get cleaned up is very much like the mess in my heart and in my head.
But I will win today...!
Tuesday, March 22
First, I had to transfer the pattern on to paper that could be cut to preserve the pattern from the book. My husband got this huge, damaged roll of paper when working at a printing company. We've had the roll for.. 5 years and we use it for all kinds of projects!
I improvised by using my glass coffee table with a lamp underneath it to trace the pattern pieces that were needed. (You can see the book I used under the lamp.)
To embellish, I used the Pellon transfer paper, turning the flame fabric into an iron-on patch. The flames are a cotton material with no stretch, so I added them on to the black knit which is the basic shape of the whole hoodie.
My son did not want to pose for me, so these shots are silly, but I still wanted to show my hoodie in action! He loves the flames in the hood and always says it's a cape, so I guess that is the next project.
The other contest was in March over at I Am Momma, Hear Me Roar.
Thursday, March 17
I am learning about waiting. God is teaching me many lessons.
I have been waiting to join a church because IF we moved soon, I don't want to be bothered with JUST having started over again.
I have been waiting to be kind to my neighbors until God moves me into THE PERFECT neighborhood of his choosing. Not this one.
I have been waiting to have another child. Waiting for a job. Waiting to be emotionally ready. Waiting to be more mature. (I feel bad for my first born sometimes!) Waiting to be a mom again.
I have been waiting for my husband to change, to grow up, to be more like me! jk
I have been waiting on the Lord. I have been waiting on myself.
I have been realizing that, although I know there are TIMES FOR WAITING, I still need to be active in my waiting.
JOIN THE CHURCH you have been attending for eight years and stop waiting to move away from it.
Be kind to your prejudice neighbors. Be gentle with their kids who have seen a lot of abuse in the past. Be genorous with your time and talents. SHOW THESE neighbors Jesus and stop waiting for new and better neighbors.
Although I don't think it's time to have another child just yet, do stop waiting and talk to God about the desires of your heart.
Stop waiting for my husband to change and change myself. Don't be so cranky. Stop holding grudges. I want him to read his Bible more, but I hope that he catches me reading mine to inspire him.
Stop WAITING and get to action.
So, I am not going to proof read this and just push 'publish post.' AHHH! (It's actually 7 minutes until Friday here, but I won't have a computer tomorrow!)
Saturday, March 12
When I speak... I get jumbled and confused and I lose my point so very often. I love to tell ALL the details of a story when expressing myself out loud. Even though I know that not everyone wants to hear all the details, I just can't stop.
Why? My husband and I figured this out today: While I'm typing one sentence, my mind is already onto the next, thinking of what needs to come after. I might think of 3 or 4 sentences that will keep the story interesting and I choose the best one! While speaking, for some reason, I feel that each thought needs to come out. I can talk and think much faster than I type, (though I do type pretty fast, if I do say so myself!) Typing is an automatic filter of sorts. Speaking out loud: no filter.
Thanks, hon, for being interested in getting to know me still, after 6 years of parenting, 8 years of marriage, and 13 years of dating.
Friday, March 11
Five Minute Friday: I feel the most loved when…
Actually, at times this is a difficult question for me. I want to feel loved all the time, who doesn't. I know the love of Christ on that cross 2000 years ago.
But when do I feel the most loved? I battle depression. When I know I SHOULD feel loved, I feel... overwhelmed by a surprise because it was unexpected and I don't do well with the unexpected. I feel... disappointed that my son was the one that goofed off through the whole performance instead of feeling proud. I feel... lost and lonely even when my husbands arms are around me.
Thinking of the past, I feel the most loved when my husband sits next to me to help fold the laundry. Or when he says thank you for something that I do every day, not looking for thanks. Or when my mom feels comfortable enough with me to cry outload. Or when either of my sisters decides to speak to me in love, sometimes even knowing that their words will hurt me, but they say the words with such gentleness, that even though the words sting, their LOVE for me stings deeper.
I wish I felt LOVE more. Was watching an old "Friends" episode where Rachael wanted to tell Ross she loved him but he was married to Emily for 6 weeks. She told him anyway because who doesn't want to hear that they are loved.
(Now I'm going to publish this without editing! AHH!)
Wednesday, March 9
The vest "Fit for a Prince" was born, but needed something more. It just didn't look accomplished enough. (Silly boy pose!)
For HIS Glory, I will take care of my body, so that I can stay on this earth another day to spread HIS love, to raise my son KNOWING HIM.
I finished this today and put it up above our microwave so that my husband and I can be reminded that it's not for us but to HIS name be the glory!
Tuesday, March 8
Our memory verses for the next six weeks. (Actually, I didn't put up week 2.) These are hung outside the bathroom door, where they can be glanced at or stared at multiple times a day!
Friday, March 4
This is the basic shape. I didn't have enough white felt to use for the back, so I just made the back black. This is a size 5/6, though, and Dana's pattern was for a bit smaller. I crafted my own pattern from a pull over vest my son has.
Wednesday, March 2
With all of those princess dresses out there, we are lacking in the prince department. I thought this would be a good idea, but it needs something more. And I'm not sure if my son would much rather be a fireman or a cowboy than a boring prince!
I used this tutorial, following her pattern-drafting idea to make my own template. Here is the finished vest.