This Moment

▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.
It's a school night. All has been done to ready for the night: bath time, teeth brushed, pajamas on, stories told, back rubbed. Still, we are awake, my son and I, snuggled in my queen bed; no blankets on, just the two of us blanketing each other, his back up against my tummy, my arm wrapped around to his tummy.

In moments like these, I feel the guilt of a parent who wants to be perfect; who wants everything to be perfect. My son should be asleep because he has school tomorrow. For that matter, he should be asleep in his own bed! He should know how to fall asleep on his own, crawl up into his own bed and sooth himself to the place of dreams.
▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.
Then I free myself of the guilt and just enjoy the moment. This moment will not last forever; this moment will not want to happen as my son grows older and more independent. THIS MOMENT may be a last time. I savor it, those awake moments when my kindergartner should be sleeping; those awake moments when we are giggling or kissing each others noses or singing a song together.

These are the moments that I remember when I'm having a tough day. I remember that when I come home, even if all is chaos at first, we will settle down to snuggle and enjoy each other purely for the sake of each other. Not for homework time. Not for dinner. Not for racing or playing or remembering the flaws of the day. SIMPLY FOR THE SAKE OF EACH OTHER.
▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.▲.
With that thought, I remember Jesus: Purely for the sake of YOU, of ME, did he die on that cross and spill his blood. Purely for the sake of YOU and ME did he raise from the dead and ascend to heaven to sit next to his father on the throne. Purely for the sake of YOU and ME.